Hello
my little beansprouts!
I was supposed to be writing a reflective journal for my research project, something that I had been procrastinating on for 5 weeks now, when I fell into the rabbit hole of my favorite Youtubers from a few years ago. A 10-minute vlog of Joe Sugg and his sister slowly turned into a 30-minute-long collaboration of Dan and Phil with my other favorites content creators. It was when I had to get up and use the bathroom when I decided to click on Troye Sivan’s “YOUTH”, and memories started flooding my mind the moment the first beat of his song played through my headphones.
It was the year 2016. I had just
graduated a few months ago, and officially finished my government exams a few
weeks prior. Needless to say, I was having the time of my life as my future
plans only consist of hoping for good results and applying colleges. The only
stress I had was convincing my parents to let me be a YouTuber and allowing me
to take a gap year to travel the world with my other friends, who I was assuming
would be YouTubers too. It was that time in your life where all you had to
think was what if we left today and run away? What if we said goodbye to
safe and sound? I know it sounds like I’ve lost my mind, but trust me, you can
only be 18 once. Oh, if only I can go back in time and have a chat with 2016
me.
And
when the lights start flashing like a photo booth and the stars exploding, we'll be fireproof.,
I
was brought back to that one random night my friends and I went for dessert. Mind
you that I had just left school, so being able to hang out till late at night was
a huge thrill for me. My group of friends at that time included people who were
already in college, people who just started working, and people like me. In my
mind, it was one small step for us, one giant leap for the youths. We spent
hours at that small dessert place, talking about everything and nothing at the
same time. We had no care in the world, we hadn’t been given huge
responsibilities yet and we hadn’t gotten our hearts broken yet. Life was good,
and it felt like we could defeat giants. I felt invincible.
When
it was time to call it a night, a few friends offered me a ride home since we
all live at the same area. Some of us had just gotten our driver’s license, some
of us can only afford second-hand cars, and some of us were better suited as a passenger.
We were blasting songs from the radio throughout the entire journey when “YOUTH”
started playing in the background. We were at a stop light when the chorus began,
and everybody knew immediately what to do. ‘MY YOUTH, MY YOUTH IS YOURS,
TRIPPING ON SKIES SIPPING WATERFALLS’, we belted at the top of our lungs. I
laughed so hard that night.
Speeding
through red lights into paradise because we’ve no time for getting old. Mortal
body, timeless souls, cross your fingers, here we go.
The
guy I had a major crush on sent me a message that night, asking if I had
reached home safely. Now I know what you all are thinking, and yes, he was
there with us a couple of hours ago in that dessert shop, yet his message still
unknowingly made me smile. They say your first love will always be alive in
your heart, and no matter how much you try to forget, it never goes away from
your heart. Eventually, him and I became nothing more than somebody I used to
know. It had taken me five years to finally understand that unrequited love is
the most beautiful love story to ever exist, but don’t tell 2016 me that, it
would break her heart. She swore that he was the only guy she will give her
heart to, but I think the only thing he got was her youth. Her youth was
his, a truth so loud no one can ignore.
I
don’t really know how to end this piece, mainly because there wasn’t any real
reason to write it in the first place. Truth be told, it was my way of reliving
a past memory of mine, and I miss every second of it. To be able to travel back
five years, to be back at the place you had been born and raised your whole
life, to be choosing between Dan Howell and Niall Horan as your celebrity
boyfriend. It was a blessing in disguise. I had people telling me before to not
grow up so fast and to just enjoy my youth when I had the chance. I should have
listened.
My
youth, my youth is yours. Runaway now and forevermore.
Till next time, my little beansprouts!
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