Hey peeps,
I've been facing some problems recently. You know, those stereotypical problems every teen is facing because they've been on Tumblr for too long. Well yeah, those problems. At first I thought I had buried it pretty well and if it was deep inside my head for a long while, it would eventually disappear. Unfortunately, problems isn't solve that way.
Lately I've come in terms of my life, meaning that I've accepted what I'm suppose to be and where I stand in the so called 'status quo' of life. I'm totally okay with the fact that I'm suppose to ace in my studies and apply a job that everyone expects me to apply in the future. But after hearing today's sermon in church and watching several episodes of JacksGap, I'm starting to doubt my acceptance.
You see, from today's sermon, my pastor preached about instinct. After hearing it, I realize that I have completely no idea what my instinct is. For example, music come as a second nature to some people, others may be absolutely comfortable to socialize, while give some people a pen and they could write a whole freaking trilogy on the spot. That's instinct. But for my case, I don't know what IS my instinct. What am I most comfortable doing? What comes as my second nature? These were among the questions that were in my head after hearing the sermon. And this is my conclusion : I've been drowned in everybody's expectations and responsibilities that I've slowly and gradually, lost something inside of me that had once managed to drive me to do something I want to do. I had lost my fiery passion towards life. I'm just drifting through life instead of living it to the max.
As for the JacksGap videos on YouTube, they made me realize that the concept of passion had always been wrong in my life. A lot of people may hope to achieve tons of money due to their interest, but when that happens, think for a moment. Are you doing what you love prior to the fact that you love doing it or because of the money,fame and success? It saddens me when I realize most people would do something they love because they were aiming for something else, including me. For example, at first I thought my passion was music, I thought I enjoyed playing the piano, but recently I realize the reason why I practice my piano is actually for my ABRSM exam. So basically I'm playing the piano because I enjoy receiving certificate of passing my ABRSM exam instead of solely enjoy doing it. So here's the thought for today : Is there no way for humans to pursue their passion without aiming for something else?
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| This was actually the video that really made me start thinking. Words of Wisdom : Casey Neistat by JacksGap |
So there's that, the reason why I'm feeling mildly depressed and confused these few days. Also the reason that made me worry about my future more than I could ever think possible and thinking WAY too much. (P/s, I'm not over-exaggerating) I really hope I could find some answers to my confusion soon before I get drown in my own question marks... Let's just hope for the best.
Anyways, I'm just going to go now because there's school tomorrow and I haven't pack my bag. (Gosh, don't you just hate Mondays?) While I'm doing that, I think I'll listen to 1973 by James Blunt on Spotify... By the way, just something totally random, do you guys remember The Suite Life of Zack and Cody? (For those who are not 90's babies, it was a Disney sitcom) Gosh, I've been having a marathon lately and can I just say... AREN'T THE SPROUSE TWINS THE CUTEST TWINS EVER?! It even gets better : They grew into a pair of FINE looking lads now. *drooling face* Bye peeps and Happy Blogging!
